Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Challenge of Life

This morning my friend phoned to say her mother-in-law had died the night before, and that she would not be able to meet me for lunch.

She began to explain that her mother-in-law passed away in her sleep, and they believed it was a stroke or heart attack. I could hear the tears in her voice. The sadness was loud and clear.

My heart poured out to her. I just wanted to reach through the phone and hold her. Then I thought about my recent challenge of my husband losing his job. I went into a comparison of her challenge and mine. One could say it is a tragedy that my husband lost his job the week before Christmas, but it is nothing compared to losing someone close to you.

Then I thought about the time when my brother died suddenly in a car accident, about when my father passed away, and that someday I will be calling a friend to say my mother-in-law passed away. I realized we all have times where it seems like life can’t get any worse or that it is so hard we just want to crawl under a rock and hide.

Next I thought about the comments I have heard from my clients and friends, “Why is God punishing me?” “Why is life so hard?” As I have gone through difficult times in my life, I have come to realize there truly is no scale to judge the level of good or bad. It is just as good as we want it to be, or as bad as we want it to be.

Let’s face it – our society likes to weigh things, compare to others and judge our life to others – this either makes us feel really good or really bad. This is a conflicting thought system we have not been taught how to release.

Until we do the exercises to realize that our hardships are experiences to learn from and find our inner peace, we will continue to use the conflicting thought system. Continuing this conflict of judgment keeps us stuck, and we never find the peace we think God is keeping from us or see our life as being easy.

I would say God does not see our life with challenges, which our Ego has labeled as negative. He sees our life with “experiences” – lessons to grow us closer to Him. Because our Ego mind lives in constant conflict, it will only see the experiences as good or bad, and; therefore, create hardship and tragedy no matter the magnitude of the challenge.

So, if we know that everything is exactly how it is suppose to be. And that God gives us exactly what we need to create peace, bliss and abundance, how do we come to a place of peace in our experiences, or as the Ego would say “challenges?”

First, we need to recognize our feelings. Even though they might be feelings of the Ego, they can’t just be forgotten and swept under the rug. Take time to make a list of what thoughts come to you – how you are feeling at the moment.

Make sure not to judge the thoughts as good or bad. No one will need to see this list except you. Be as honest with your pen as possible – the more you get out on to paper the quicker you will come to peace with the experience. I have noticed when I take the time to just sit in a quiet place with a pad of paper and a pen my true feelings get revealed.

Unfortunately, there is no simple check-list that will allow you to check-off the Accomplished Peace item on your Things To-Do In Life list. But you can learn the exercises I teach on how to release judgment on your challenges and see them for the experiences and lessons you are intended to have. To learn this takes practice, and sometimes it takes the assistant of a Certified Life Coach. It’s much like learning how to ride a bike, or about your new job, or a computer software program – you probably had someone teaching you.

Just knowing there are exercises that can bring you lasting peace in life is the first step. The second is to set up the assistance to support you in developing your skills. Contact me for a half hour free consultation on how a Certified Life Coach can assist you. 239-253-2884 or

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Relationships: Why you have problems in some and not in others

Relationships: Why you have problems in some and not in others

We are given many relationships in life – some easy and some difficult. Understanding our role in the relationships that are difficult is not something we have ever been taught. Most believe it is the other person. We think, “If they were just nicer to us, then we would get along.” This thought of, “It’s them, not me,” is blaming the other person and not taking responsibility for the relationship.

One of the hardest statements to accept when dealing with a troubled relationship is, "Find your responsibility in why your relationship has trouble."

One thing I know to be true is that every person we have in our life is here to teach us how to be more like God. “Turning the other cheek” does not mean to only those who are nice to us. It is those who are not nice to us who help us gage how close to being like God we truly are.

If you would like to receive a free “Healing YOUR Relationships” tips, please click here.