Meet Sarah the Sacrificial Stay-at-Home Mom
Sarah is in her early 30’s and has two or three children. She is married and living her dream of being a stay-at-home mom. She lives in a newer or remodeled home in a welcoming community.
Sarah has a college degree. She likes to get her hair done with highlights or color, but she doesn’t have the time to style it very often. She also likes to get her nails manicured.
Even though it is difficult to find the time, she likes to work out sometimes and is of average body weight. This is probably one of the only things she does for herself.
Since Sarah is not thrilled with the way her body looks, she wears easy, comfortable clothing. Although she has always wanted to be one, Sarah is finding that being a stay-at-home mom is much more difficult than she ever imagined.
She is feeling overwhelmed, lost, like she is not enough and unappreciated. Sarah’s husband can’t do enough to help her. He works long days and is hardly home to help with the kids. Even when he is home, Sarah is still in charge of the kids and their routines.
She has found herself indulging in a glass or two of wine every day, instead of just on the weekends. It just feels so good to have the edge taken off at the end of a difficult day with the kids. Overall, Sarah is your typical overachieving stay-at-home mom. She keeps busy scheduling play dates and volunteering at her children’s schools. She tries to act like Martha Stewart, baking cup cakes and other goodies from scratch. Sarah is feeling so tired.
She doesn’t know how she is supposed to find the energy to accomplish all she has to do. She has become a martyr.
I used to be a Stay-at-Home Mom. It was hard. I wanted it all, but I looked to my husband to fulfill my dreams. I became so captured by the laundry, dishes, dusting and moping, I could not even think about the gift I was given – my children. If this reminds you of someone you know…yourself, then call me. Together we can create a plan that will allow you to honor yourself, your family and staying at home. You have been given the gift of your children, let's make it a great experience for all of you. -- Coach Lynne
Take the Step Out of Step Parenting
I have been a Step-Mom for 15 years, and it has been one of the hardest, yet greatest, experiences in my life. It was the hardest because I did not have anyone helping me through the emotions of being a Step-Mom – the feeling of never truly being the "MOM." Responsible but not Rewarded. Never quite enough.
Constant struggles without anyone to talk to created hard times for my relationship with my step-daughter, my husband and my own kids. I have dedicated a part of my coaching business to helping step-parents, parents who have a spouse who is a step parent and children of step parents. I am here to help you develop loving, forgiving, trusting and honest relationships with all family members. -- Coach Lynne
Rebecca the “Real” Woman
Rebecca the “Real” woman is between 35 and 60 years old. She works for a large company, but has an entrepreneurial spirit and dreams of starting her own business. She is a “Do-er” and has a lot on her plate. She is a planner.
Over the course of her life, she has won many awards – employee of the month, employee of the year. She always goes above and beyond, but she never gets the satisfaction she is seeking. Her ego tells her that she will feel satisfied when she wins that next award, but it never seems to happen.
Rebecca is a great friend. All of her friends come to her to talk. However, she does have a lot of martyr thoughts. Meaning, she shows her love for other people by doing things for them, but she then wonders why nobody ever does anything for her.
She wants more out of life. She feels trapped, like she is on a hamster wheel. She is at a point in life when she thinks, “there’s got to be more than this.” She longs for peace in her relationships at home and at work.
Rebecca has a burning desire to help all of Mankind. She wants to save the animals, abused women and foster children, but she never really does anything. And she never feels at peace with her ability to help Mankind.
Are you feeling overwhelmed? Call me for a safe, confidential conversation to see how we can work together. You deserve peace and joy in all you do, we can create a plan. -- Coach Lynne
Meet Wendy the Weary Working Mom
Wendy is in her 30’s or early 40’s. She has two or three children, lives in a nice neighborhood in a newer home, and has the luxury of getting her hair and nails done.
She has a college degree and works now that her children are in school. She decided to go back to work because she is searching for something else to feel good about herself … to be a part of something other than her family … to have a life of her own.
Unfortunately, Wendy leaves for work in a stressed out frenzy every morning, usually has to eat lunch out, which means more calories and cash spent, and she feels a lot of guilt around not getting home from work in time for dinner.
Every evening after work, she finds herself shuttling the kids to some kind of practice – soccer, football, dance, piano and more.
Wendy feels overwhelmed with her commitments of volunteering for her children’s schools and extra-curricular activities, like the Little League.
She feels torn between her career and staying home with her children when they are sick. And, she learns that her husband perceives it to be her job to stay home, not his. This means her career is the one put on hold for sick children. She gets upset with her husband over this.
Even though she works full-time, Wendy is still responsible for the housework, scheduling doctor and dentist appointments, and coordinating with the bug guy and lawn people.
Many days, Wendy feels like she is not enough, as if she is treading water in a pool and drowning. She doesn’t know how to get over to the side of the pool and pull herself up. She, too, has become a martyr.
Meet Stacey the Stricken Step-Mom
Stacey is in her 30’s or early 40’s. She most likely has a college degree and works. She and her husband live in a nice neighborhood in a nice, newer home.
She has a child or children of her own and inherited one or two from her current husband.
She feels like she puts her whole heart into the stepchildren, but it is never enough. She gives up everything, including herself, to be their mother. She wanted this, but she is surprised at how difficult it is. She tries so hard to be everything to these children and build the facade of the perfect family. But, she feels a lot of insecurity. Plus, there is most-likely friction with the children’s mother.
She is getting lost in the feelings. Her emotions are rocked every week by the abandonment of the children going to visit their mother. It feels like knives stabbing her in the heart.
There is an expectation by her husband to love his children unconditionally, but she knows the feelings of love are different between her children and his. She is seriously afraid to admit this to her husband.
Day-by-day she gives up her personal power because she doesn’t speak from her heart. She leaves all of this emotion bundled up inside for fear of her true feelings getting out and hurting someone else.
Stacey doesn’t know what else to do. She has become a martyr.